I keep coming across this issue. The Christian suffering from nice guy syndrome.
There’s nothing wrong with being kind, but if you’re a pushover who is constantly lost and depressed, then theres something seriously wrong.
An archetypal client I often encounter is precisely like this, and they’re almost always raised Christian.
Why is this?
Christian household forces it’s youth to be selfless.
They shame you if you are not.
You ask Christian men why they are working so hard on their business.
They always answer the same way; “I do it for my family” or “I do it to give to other people”.
Yet these young men’s lives are full of failures:
- Divorced young.
- Mothers that leech their energy.
- Families that don’t support and shame them.
- Codependency with a broken and troubled woman, trying to fix her.
Their only hopes are to fantasize about escaping to a romantic ideal, hoping for a love story.
Hoping to find a beautiful wife in a perfect relationship. Something that evades them.
What is their problem?
At root, they are not brave enough to trust their own gut and instincts.
They have lost contact with their embodied experience.
This is not necessarily their own fault, but the fault of social conditioning from early youth.
They are socialized to deny their basic instincts.
This causes a severance between them and their gut-instincts – making them unable to trust themselves, their own gut, and ultimately their own body.
They have shame wrapped around what their instincts truly want.
They see selfishness as something pathological.
They will often talk about:
- Courage
- Righteous strength
- Lifting humanity, and so on.
This is nothing more than moral posturing.
It’s not real. It’s not sincere. It’s not honest.
It’s what sounds “nice”.
The Initiation of the Instincts
If they really want to talk about righteousness and standing up for the truth – then they should listen more to what their gut and instincts tell them. This will ultimately lead and push them forward.
If they let their instincts lead them probably – they will ultimately start living for themselves.
They will start feeling better and more powerful. They will start doing things on their own terms.
They will develop health, strength, courage and power. They will be energized and even animated.
All of a sudden they actually become strong and brave.
This is essential.
I see so many young men struggle with this. It’s like a shadow, a pattern that follows them.
This is what initiation is all about.
Young boys are born cowards. You can’t be born brave – because you’ve never faced fear.
Traditional societies always understood this.
But they had to protect their young boys – so they let them grow up in the village.
This led to them being overprotected and oversocialized by the women and the priests.
But eventually the young boys would become teenagers and develop testosterone. They would grow too big for the village.
The village then had two options:
They could either fully castrate the boy and turn him into a “priestly” or an “effeminate” type.
Or they could let him go through the initiation process and turn him into a man.
If they chose to initiate the boy – they would grab him by the balls, drag him out of the village, and beat the living shit out of him.
This would induce massive amounts of fear in him, which would force him to wake his instincts up.
His instincts to fight, to stand on his own feet, to listen to himself, to not look at mom or the priest and say: “What do I do now?”.
When the boy proved that he could properly wake his instincts up – he was considered to be on the path towards becoming a true man – a warrior.
This is deeply spiritual and psychological.
It’s about getting a deep connection to the instincts.
Now the boy can be launched away from the village into the big and dark forest, to be taught and raised by men.
Reestablishing Connection With Your Gut Instincts
When you let your instincts speak through you, when you stop allowing society and social conditioning to hold them in, you become brave in the way you orientate yourself.
You will assert yourself upon the world. Nature will animate you through your instincts. You will be electrified.
But if you fail to go for this – you’ll always be a hollow man.
You will always be broken.
You will always try to get the perfect relationship and the approval of your family – and it will never work.
Because you are essentially an empty, unanimated hollow man.
You are a spiritually castrated man.
Many men will try to fix this by going to psychology, which simply won’t work. Because again – the model of psychology is just another socialized institution.
It belongs to the village, not the forest.
If this speaks to you, you should meditate on the following questions:
- What is your gut?
- What are your instincts?
- What is the sizzle in your blood?
- What do your aggressive instincts yearn for?
- What are you intimidated by?
- The things that you are intimidated by – what is the secret desire behind them?
The most powerful way of waking your instincts up by – is to face your fears.
Meditate on what your fears are – and go out and face them. This will slowly awaken your instincts.
This is what true christianity represents.
Christ was a man that decided to say;
“Fuck the village, fuck the collective, fuck the mob, fuck their prespective.
I don’t give a shit what they think. My conscience says this. The spirits speak to me and say this. They define me as devine.
I’m going to represent this, no matter the consequences.”
This ultimately leads to death – and he embraces that.
He says: “You know what, I’m going to die instead of yielding”.
This is not a man who cuckolds himself, bends over and bows to duty.
Christ is telling you to do the exact opposite.
Christ connected with what is true in himself and what his conscience tells him to be true. This is something higher than his ego.
A lot of what we see in christianity today is egotistical. You try to be good. You try to put on a persona so that people validate you and flatter you.
This is cowardice and not christianity at all. You are trying to feel like a good and moral person. You want to have your set of positive emotions and a love story at the end of it.
Christ did not get his love story. Christ did not get his girlfriend. Christ died. His body was ripped apart and he bled to death on a cross.
It’s not fair – but it’s the warrior’s ethos and life.
It’s scary to think about. It’s scary to think about sacrificing everything you have, even your life – for telling the truth.
But this is the beginning of fear, and thus the beginning of true initiation.
If you want me and my team to help you reestablish that connection with your gut instincts so you can become a more respectable force in this world
You can apply for a free consultation call by clicking on the button bellow.